I woke up last night around 3:00 crying. I had had a bad dream. I know that it sounds childish, but I have been having very vivid dreams. I won't go into details, but I spent the next hour in Zack's arms really upset and scared to fall back asleep. Sometimes when I fall back asleep my dreams pick up right where I left off. I thought of happy things for about 2 hours and finally fell back to sleep. Needless to say this morning was hard to get up and go. I was late to work, then when I did get to work I decided to email a coworker that was due two days after me to find out what she was having. I knew that she was having her gender ultrasound done over Spring Break. I had done some therapy and another coworker stopped me in the hall and asked me if I had heard what had happened. The next few minutes brought lots of emotion. I just listened in disbelief. My coworker had lost her baby. I was sad, scared, and upset all the same time. I immediately became nauseous and thought I might get sick. This stuff wasn't suppose to happen this late in a pregnancy. My heart broke for her and her family. I ran to my room and tried to stop the email that I had sent to her. It was too late, she had already opened it and replied. From what I know she is doing okay. She will be out of work this week, and all I can do is pray for her and her family. Children are such a blessing and I can't even begin to imagine what she is going through. I honestly don't think that this day could get any worse. I am just drained....
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Posted by The Millers at 4:14 PM
Sunday, March 16, 2008
I think Coach Drew needs to shave his head if they win the first game of the tournament!! Zack and I will be watching the game in Shreveport, LA. We are going down for a hold em tournament!
Posted by The Millers at 4:20 PM
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Zack and I decided this past summer that we wanted to add a little one to our family. We thought that the timing was perfect and in June started trying. We found out that we were pregnant in August and we were both so excited. I had my first Dr’s appointment and we didn’t hear the heartbeat, so later in the week I went in for an ultrasound. (I was suppose to be 11 weeks at that time) I found out that the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks. Talk about being completely devastated. I had to call my husband and tell him that our baby had died. It was awful. I found out on a Thursday and went in for surgery the following day. It was the strangest feeling....even though I knew that the baby had passed away, I went into the hospital that day being pregnant and came out not. It was just an overwhelming feeling of emptiness. It took several weeks for me to start to be my old self again. Zack told me that when I was ready we could try again. I knew that I didn’t want to wait long, but I wasn’t sure that I could handle another miscarriage. I prayed about it and when we were given the okay by the doctor we decided we would give it another shot. I just prayed that if God didn’t think that we were ready for a baby he wouldn’t let us get pregnant. We found out the first of December that we were going to have a baby. We prayed everynight that God would be with us and this baby. This pregnancy has been truly amazing. I loved the morning sickness, who knew someone could enjoy throwing up, but to me that was a good sign. I just smiled every morning when that time came. I think that we will def appreciate every step of this pregnancy and we are very excited about this little bundle of joy!
We found out March 11th that we are having a little boy. The ultrasound tech was the same one that told me about the first baby. She wasn’t sure that I would like having her do it again, but what an amazing thing. She had to give me horrible news in Sept, but in March got to tell us we were having a son! She started the ultrasound and assumed that we already knew what we were having bc I have snuck into my Dad’s office a couple of times for some scans. We had to tell her that we had no idea. She scanned over his little boy parts and I knew right away.....I turned and looked at Zack as he tried to make out the ultrasound picture and got to see his face when she told him it was a boy. It was a look of achievement and love. He was so excited he started to hoop and hollar! He was going to have a little boy!! I know he would have been just as happy with a little girl, but it was a boy! He named the baby himself and I have to say I LOVE his name! We are due July 28th, it’s going to be a hot summer!
Posted by The Millers at 8:12 AM